You Might Be a Crazy Dog Person If…

You Might Be a Crazy Dog Person If…

All of us who have spent any part of our lives involved in the sport of dogs have many things in common. First, we have all grown to love our dogs and our sport in ways our friends and neighbors will never understand. We all started very green and small with usually just one dog and a total lack of knowledge in all things related to our sport. Over time, many of us have grown in passion and dedication to Man’s Best Friend. For many of us, this passion has completely changed the trajectory of our lives.

Although many of our friends, neighbors, co-workers, and relatives have never attended a dog event, most have been exposed by watching Westminster, the National Dog Show, and some related events on ESPN or other network and cable channels. So, while many think it is a pretty cool hobby, side job, or profession, many just think we are all one of those obsessed “Crazy Dog Show People” like those satirized in the successful Best in Show film.

Many of you are also familiar with the comedian Jeff Foxworthy and his “you might be a redneck if…” humor. His albums, TV and radio specials have enjoyed great popularity since the 1980s.

I thought it might be fun to take a look at how someone like Jeff Foxworthy might describe all of us as Crazy Dog Show People. I hope you enjoy it and understand it is just a self-reflecting and humorous look at our wonderful sport of dogs.

• If your dream car used to be a great big muscle car but now it is a raised roof van with a roof air conditioner, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you are a young lady or woman out shopping and looking for new dresses and skirts, and your first question is: “Does it have pockets?” you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you go to the car dealership to look at vehicles and the first thing you pull out is your tape measure to see how many crates you can fit in, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you are making hotel reservations and the first question you ask is: “Do you take dogs?” you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you go out to dinner with friends, and people at the other tables look at you funny because you’re discussing “bitches” and you are not talking about your wives, girlfriends, bosses, or co-workers, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your friends and neighbors have family photos everywhere but your walls are filled with win photos, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If home improvement means adding fencing, kennel runs, scratch-resistant floors, and a grooming room with a doggy bathtub, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you plan a December vacation in Orlando and it is to be spent at the Orange County Convention Center, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If all of your vacation days revolve around dog show circuits, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you purchase a golf cart, but instead of using it for golf it is used for exercising dogs or getting around various show sites, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you go to the dry cleaners to pick up your clothes and the clerk hands you all the ribbons and bait that were left in the pockets, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you think Gold, Silver, Bronze, and Platinum are not Olympic Medals but Grand Championship achievement levels, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you know that the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is the second oldest continuous sporting event in the United States, at 149 years, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you know what a “wicket” is and how it is used, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you spend over $100 on a good brush for grooming your dog, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If during the week, instead of going to ball games or other social functions you go to training classes and club meetings, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If one of your favorite diamonds is the one in the Dremel used for doing nail grinding, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your friends ask what all those letters before and after your dogs’ registered names mean, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your shoes need to be more comfortable for running, showing, or judging than for looking stylish, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your standard home décor is trophies, rosettes, statues, and paintings of dogs, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your magazine subscriptions consist of SHOWSIGHT and other dog show publications, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your most visited websites are AKC.org, InfoDog, Onofrio, Rau, and other superintendents, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your UPS delivery person and mail carrier are regular visitors with packages from Chewy and other vendors, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your veterinarian is on speed dial but you can’t remember your personal physician’s name, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you keep a special notebook filled with possible names for puppies from future litters, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you have visited all of the lower 48 United States but the only sites you have seen are fairgrounds, show venues, and local hotels and restaurants, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you own a half dozen Ryobi portable fans, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If before and after showing your dogs you are counting dogs, and checking the judge’s sheets to be sure the major did not break, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you spend hours on the Internet researching judging panels for future shows to attend, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you always have rain gear and poop bags packed “just in case,” you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you always carry a doggie first aid kit but don’t have a Band-Aid or an aspirin for yourself when you need it, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If your phone’s ring tone is a barking dog or “Who let the dogs out?” you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you have ever told the parking people, “So and so said I could park here!” you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you have ever missed an important family event to attend a dog show, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you spend $100 on premium dog food but complain when your lunch is more than $10, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you know that a parent club is not like the PTA, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you do every health test imaginable on your dogs but have not seen your doctor in a very long time, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you know that “puppies always come in the middle of the night,” you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you are upset after driving 500 miles to show under one of your favorite judges only to arrive and see there has been a last-minute judge change, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you have lots of cool coats, ice packs, fans, and soft beds to keep your dogs comfortable in the heat, you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you make sure all of your plants, yard fertilizers, and weed killers are “pet safe,” you might be a crazy dog show person.
• If you know a teeter-totter, tunnel, and weave poles are not children’s playground items, you might be a crazy dog show person.

I am sure you can all add to the list, but I hope you enjoyed this look at all of us Crazy Dog Show People.