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Are You Thinking For Your Dog?

View from the side, lying down on the floor. Young woman is with her pug dog at home

Are You Thinking For Your Dog?

Have you ever found yourself talking for your dog? Not talking to your dog but talking on your dogโ€™s behalf? Maybe, for example, your Winners Dog is flirting in the ring with your friendโ€™s Winners Bitch and you find yourself using a character voice to say, โ€œHey, youโ€™re kinda cute.โ€ And without missing a beat, your friend uses her signature girl-dog voice to reply, โ€œGee, thanks. I think youโ€™re cute too.โ€ Meanwhile, both dogs appear delighted by the silliness of the interaction as they wait for their turn to greet the judge together and circle around the ring to the end. Maybe the judge even joins in the fun by approaching the pair saying, โ€œI think weโ€™re a little distracted here.โ€

Speaking for your dog (or somebody elseโ€™s dog) is something we all likely do from time to time. Many of us even seem to genuinely enjoy doing these unscripted doggy voiceovers. But have you ever contemplated that you might also be thinking for your dog as well? Have you ever considered how your own thoughtsโ€”and your memoriesโ€”can be projected onto your dog in ways that can affect the dogโ€™s behavior and its performance?

At a recent show, a group of exhibitors was busy getting their dogs ready for the ring when one person commented about an experience sheโ€™d had at a show with her class dog. โ€œHe was scared by a flapping tent and now heโ€™s afraid to go under a tent,โ€ she shared as her dog stood on his grooming table under open skies. โ€œMine was approached from behind by a judge and now he hates the ring,โ€ offered another exhibitor who seemed anxious about the prospect of the incident happening again. โ€œI hate it when handlers let their dogs get too close to mine in the ring,โ€ another stated disapprovingly. In an instant, the conversation among the group had gone from talking about the beautiful weather to focusing on things that happened in the past. Meanwhile, the dogs were taking it all in.

In the four decades that Iโ€™ve been going to dog shows, my understanding of how dogs experience the proceedings has evolved to be more considerate of their interests. What Iโ€™ve come to understand is that dogs prefer to live in the present and are far more willing (and able) to move past negative experiences than their human counterparts.

Although both humans and canines seem to possess the ability to โ€œrecordโ€ negative experiences as a way of avoiding them in the future, it is us who seem less capable of โ€œletting things go.โ€ We too often make the conscious decision to โ€œreliveโ€ a bad experience again and again and again. Perhaps this is because our large brains become overly active when triggered by a particularly unfavorable thought. And if that thought is a memory of a negative experience we had with our dog at a show, we are likely to burden our dog too by giving life to the recollection through our thoughts and words.

Many years ago, I attended a George Alston Handling Seminar as an observer and witnessed firsthand the power of using the spoken word in a โ€œdog show setting.โ€ At this particular gathering, there was a young adult dog thatโ€™s described by its Breed Standard as being โ€œdiscerningโ€ and โ€œself-willed.โ€ This particular dog appeared to be unable to focus on its handler, seemingly distracted by the goings-on and most definitely uncertain of the instructorโ€™s intentions. The woman on the other end of the lead responded to her dogโ€™s behavior by relating an incident that had apparently โ€œtraumatizedโ€ her dog. Based on her dogโ€™s behavior, it might have been easy to think the dog simply had a long memory and a poor temperament. Ah, but thatโ€™s why George has so often been called a โ€œdog whisperer.โ€ The retired professional handler who had taken so many novice dogs to the pinnacle of success in the ring seemed to understand that it wasnโ€™t the dog that was thinking about a past trauma.

In front of the class, George took the dogโ€™s lead from the owner and proceeded to talk in a voice that was calm, clear, and quiet. The masterโ€™s verbal communication was decidedly low-keyโ€”but it was nonetheless transformative. Before our very eyes, the uneasiness of the dog evaporated and was replaced by a confident creature that stood with poise. In mere moments, a team had been created; a handler unburdened by unhelpful thoughts and a dog that was eager to listen to a new story. If I hadnโ€™t witnessed the swift transformation for myself, I wouldnโ€™t have believed it was possible.

That day I learned one of George Alstonโ€™s best-known catch phrases: โ€œDogs are people too.โ€ It took many years (and more than a few embarrassing moments in the ring) before I began to understand the meaning of this statement: Dogs have thoughts and feelings that need to be considered, and as in any healthy relationship our dogs want to offer us their very best. In return, theyโ€™re entitled to receive our support and encouragementโ€”not a rehashing of past failings that are relived five minutes before ring time. Only when we think of our dogs as partners in need of our support can we begin to manage the memories that exist, here and now, only when we talk about them.

The next time you find yourself compelled to say, โ€œAt the show in Palookaville, this dog wouldnโ€™tโ€ฆโ€ think about an experience that yielded a positive result instead. Keep sharing that story. Your dog will be listening, and with practice, the two of you will begin to believe that you can get through anything together. At the very least, if youโ€™re going to do the thinking (and talking) for your dog, you should at least be thinking good thoughts and telling stories that have a happy ending.